Did you get a valentine's card today? Many parents find the romance in their relationship hard to sustain. There is no research data, but we suspect that if there was, it would show that only a tiny minority of parents did get a valentine's card today.
Many parents find the romance in their relationship hard to sustain and sometimes they worry about that. But research shows that romance seldom lasts long whether there are children or not - quoted figures from peer-reviewed research range from six months to a very precise "17.2 months!" Actually, every relationship is different and this research cannot tell us much about the different ways each of us expresses love, and how we need our partner's to love us in return.
We might need our partner to tell us how and why they love us, and to give us moral support and encouragement, or we might want them to make sure we have enough 'quality time' together. We might look to them for material things, or need them to make our lives better through practical support. And we might need physical touch and intimacy. A romantic relationship combines these elements in a particular way. But other combinations are available!
If most romantic relationships tend to peter out, what keeps people together? It's got a lot to do with having a shared vision and purposes. Parents make sacrifices every day, but from a 'whole family' perspective if one person in the family is not being nurtured this has a knock-on effect on everyone in the family.
We hear a lot about work - life balance but less about the balance needed between being a parent and being a human being with human needs. How can we make sure we are fulfilled as individuals as well as parents? And what should we do if our needs are not being met within the family?
Join us on St Valentine's Day to discuss this topic. We want to hear your views, too. We don't have all the answers, but we are looking forward to asking some very good questions!
